A New Beginning

Change is never easy. I spent much of my life avoiding and/or hiding from IT! Sometimes I don't see it coming. Other times, I-get-the-ball-rolling myself. Most of the time I have reacted in the extremes--like fight or flight. Highs and lows are familiar stops off the 'Crazy Train' that I call my life's journey. I've always been afraid of the gray-matter--all the stops along the way between the extremes. (FEAR! F _ _ _ Everything and Run.) If I bother to stay it's anger that becomes my protector and 'drug-of-choice', from which I often O.D'd. The beginning of addressing such core defects within my character began 25 years ago. Although it was an abrupt start, the process since has been slow, tedious, and painful. This was not really the beginning, but one of 'those stops' along the way. I got off the train; however, it was still moving. As for the 'real beginning'...I'm not sure where it is exactly. More importantly, the healing process had begun and a new beginning was underway.